New - A journey known as my day.

Today I decided to call my mom and let her know about my weekend. I don't usually talk to my mom a lot so I decided why not, it couldn't hurt. The phone call was more about this weekend and everything that occurred then anything else, but I wanted to clue my mom in. Normally, she says that I don't talk to her at all, so I've been trying to call her and just talk [and not ask for something] more lately, so she feels included in my life.
To start this right, I have to inform you of the weekend. Friday was dreadful. I sat at my house doing nothing all day. I don't know if it's because I just didn't want to talk to anyone or if it was because I was truly tired from the week. This, of course, would be later on in the evening and not during the day. The day's of Friday's are crazy. I have class all morning, work before and after classes and then tutorings. Back to where I was... so that evening, I painted my nails [for a later purpose] and watched scary stories on TV. Nothing interesting about it, to say the least. I ended up reading a few chapters in a required book, took a shower and headed off to bed. Nothing too eventful. I think more had to do with the fact that Mike wasn't here and wouldn't be here to celebrate the Halloween events that were going on this weekend that had me bummed. But I couldn't blame him, seriously. In fact, I felt awful for making that my "excuse" to feel bummed. His grandmother passed away and was in Chicago to visit with family and to attend her funeral. I feel like a horrible person for feeling bad that he wasn't here to party and hang out...
Then, Saturday happened. One of the worst days I have experienced in a long while. There was a party I was supposed to attend that evening at Jessica's house. Her and I have been friends since I can remember, perhaps even further back then I can remember, who knows? Her roommates were throwing a Halloween party so her and I decided to go as members of a punk-rock girl band. I got all ready and excited about it, spray painted my hair with pink tips, glitter, 80's makeup, you name it, I did it. I get to Jessica's house and no one was there. I tried getting a hold of her and nothing. So I started driving back home when she text messaged me saying that her roommates just left so there's no party. So yet again, I felt isolated and alone. No one was here I could talk to and the few people I wanted to see weren't in contact range.
Now, the hardest part about the night wasn't that there was no party, though I was extremely frustrated that I got all ready and now there was no where to go... but the hardest part about the night was my roommate and friend, Chelsea, telling me she's going to move out. Chelsea didn't tell me to my face, but over text messaging... while I was across the hall. It sucked. Everything about that night was stupid and pissed me off.
Which leads to me calling my mom today to tell her about this weekend. I got to talking about the roommate situation and everything that happened this weekend and she said something about moving back home. I told her there is no way I'd move back home. I like to come and go when I please, have friends over to stay the night when I want, eat what I want, have parties, hell, I could have sex without worrying about my parents... that's just a no go. She gave me the biggest guilt trip about her loosing the house and what would I do if my dad was on the street. She seriously knows how to make me feel like utter crap. She knows I love her just as much as I do my dad, but she insists that I love him more than her, which is dumb. Why, I don't know. She thinks I talk to him more and pity him. It's only fair to say that the only reason why this would be possible is because of my life growing up with my mom. It was one of the hardest things I had to endure.

Midterms

They're over! That's right! I'm so excited that I don't have anything until December... except for papers and small tests. The test I took today was worthless and almost the entire class had no idea what was going on. I hope I don't fail it... man. That would not be a good thing at all. Oh well.

I still have to get a costume for this weekend. Dangit.

Nobody knows it but me..

I can't stand this anymore. I don't know why I feel this way and why I'm so angry. I feel like hitting someone or something. I just hate everything and anything lately. I don't want to do anything, I just want sleep. Just sit here and cry. But no one knows anything but myself.

I've come to the realization...

I completely and totally.. 100%... suck at Halo 3. :P No matter what I do, I can't kill anyone. Dangit. What a pitty.

This was a waste of space, however, it's writing something. Do I smell a commitment to something? Probably not, but the whiff was good while it lasted.

Everything hurts.

I'm just tired of this all. I'm back to old habits. I'm back to not caring. I'm back to my old self, and that's not a good thing. But then again, I don't give one shit about any of it. Who cares anyway.