Aching Head..

My migraines are coming back in full force. I don't know what causes them and I seriously don't want to know. Psh.

Here lately I've been stuttering more, and I'm not for sure why. I know of a few reasons it could be, but I try not to think about those. I've gotten rid of some people that I thought were friends but used me for information and for what they wanted. I'm just glad that nothing ever DID happen, even though he tried soooo many times... and most people don't believe me. I'm not sure if it's because of the "type" of person I am that I can't be believed that some guy would try to get with me... but you know. I try not to let things bother me.

I've been thinking a lot here lately about my dad and my relationship with my parents. Jenny got married on 7/7, and it really got me thinking about what I want in life and where I want to go. It's hard for me to sit down and be serious about everything like this to people just because I feel like they don't understand. I say I don't ever want to get married or start a life with someone, but I really do... in the future. My dad asked me if he died before he got to walk me down the isle, who would I choose to give me away... he made me bawl, but I didn't cry in front of him. When I got home, I busted out the water works because I can't imagine what I'd do if he died... He's one of my best friends, he can't die.

There's a time in everyone's life when they realize that their dad is mortal and will eventually leave this earth and that he can't conquerer everything you always knew he could... but I don't want to realize this yet. I know it's selfish, but if my dad left me this soon, I don't know what I'd do.

Oh, and the answer: Jared. I want Jared to give me away if my dad isn't here. But God, I hope he is.