A few questions and then some.

My week has been hell. I know the figure of speech implies hell on earth and that my week was just as bad as spending eternity in a flaming pit of whatever... this leads me to the conclusion that my week was not "hell", but so much worse. I would have rather spent this week basking in the eternal flames then be here on earth where everyone I know can walk on me like a doormat.

No, no, no. Walking would be too easy. This was more like shitting on, rolling over, smashing, and then lighting on fire. That would probably be somewhat closer to how this week felt.

I went to study at the library for a test that was today, in which I failed, like the good College student I am. No more than I get there do I receive a text from my 'best-friend' telling me that he never wants to talk to me again. You know, I probably wouldn't have reacted like I did had I not been having the worst week ever, but whatever. It hurt, I cried... a lot.

I started crying in the library, of course, where there are thousands of people roaming around at all hours. I ran out of the library and back to my car, all the while sobbing on the phone to Morgan about everything. A few things that were said:

"I didn't do anything..." - Which I didn't. In fact, the only thing I did do was stick up for him.
"I forgave him..." - This one was usually followed by all sorts of swear words and sobs and pounding my fist against the steering wheel. I don't want to type everything that has happened in the past, but obviously, there's something there that I forgave him over. He knows. Plain and simple.
"He's treating me every bit like Ryan..." - Okay, so maybe not quite like Ryan since he is a complete jack ass and I hate him from every inch of my body. But I was so mad and so upset that this seemed logical at the time. Ryan would call me his 'best' or whatever else and then do things that said completely opposite... we're not getting into just what he did. That's too painful to bring up.
"I knew it was coming..." - I still know. I just don't understand why I let myself do this... I do usually set myself up to get hurt...
"I never want to get close to anyone ever again..." - Morgan explained that you have to get close to people to find out if they will be true or not. I say that's crap.
"I don't understand..." - This one was said a LOT. Just because I still don't.
"He said he cares about me; you don't do this to who you care about..." - This one kind of tied in to the whole Ryan one. And I still stand by this, you don't do that to who you care about.

So after I talked to Morgan and didn't calm down one bit, I tried to contact Mike with very little leeway. Of course, I thought he wasn't going to talk to me because of whatever so I was driving around so I could calm down. That, and I wasn't about to explain this to my roommates.

After about an hour, Mike finally called. I said many of the things up there and then some added things... that I'm not really sure if I said to Morgan or not, but they had more impact talking to Mike.
"You don't trust me..." - Which, I'm not sure if he'll ever "truly" trust me. It's kind of sad that I don't know if he will or not. He said his "best friend" and the "love of his life" was teaming up against him. Oh so wrong. I never, ever, would team up against him, ever. Doubt he realizes that.
"I forgave you for everything..." - I did, too. Everything. Just like that. Stupid move. I loose.
"I never expected this from you..." - I didn't. Now I know, I guess. It just sucks that no matter what now, the trust shit is back to about half. Not completely away, but definitely not all there.
"I don't trust you..." - This one is a little too personal to finish the entirety of it, but I'm sure if Mike reads this, he'll know what I meant...
"I just don't know..." - And this is because I didn't; still don't.
"It's not fair..." - It's not. These last two are kind of common sense phrases but can have quite the impact when I'm driving while sobbing and can't see the road. Which, by the way, I recommend you not trying that. It's kind of scary. Especially at night.
"It's not okay..." - Still isn't, really.

He came over, though. Went and got ice cream and all that jazz. I don't know. I tried to put a happy face on, but inside, I still had the stab wounds wide open. They still hurt.

So then today Chelsea and Laura get into a fight right outside my door. Chelsea thinks I'm talking shit about her, which I'm not and never would. It seems as if my words like to get twisted and then reinserted into my mouth which always comes back to haunt me. F' that. I'd rather not say anything at all ever again... which is a slight possibility. I know from now on, however, that I will not be here for advise. I'll be here to listen like the friend and person I am but I will never succumb to the advise end of things.

I really hate everything and pretty much everyone right now.