Exactly.

Last night is the exact reason I don't hang out with anyone from my past.
At least not in a group... things get brought up that shouldn't.

I closed the door for a reason.

It's like this - the door is apart of me now. It hides what I want it to hide and keeps inside what needs to be left alone. But then in the middle of a fun time, someone found the weakness in the door; the peep hole. But instead of just looking side, they smashed through it leaving the gaping wound yet again.

Now ripped open, it's hollow.

I feel alone again, betrayed, hurt, neglected, scared, used... hollow. It's not fair - I didn't do anything at any time and yet I get to hurt for what they did. And it somehow or another comes up and cuts a fresh line over the last - the one that has never fully closed.

I should just leave for good.
Forget it ever happened and that these people exist.


For the better.